December 31, 2008

  • The Love Dare, week 5 (and a half)

    Sacrifice.  Leading your heart.  Putting your spouses needs ahead of your own.  There's a theme in this whole Love Dare...

    I chose him to be the love of my life.  I can choose to love him the rest of my life. 

    We are not powerless to the whims of our hearts.  We are not powerless to our feelings. 

    One spouse falls in love with someone else.  Gets caught in the affair.  Separation and divorce ensues.  A brief time later said person marries new "love".  Someone says, "Dude, Way to follow your heart!"  

    It's foolish.  The world says, "Follow your heart!"  This is the philosophy of new age gurus, self-help seminars, and romantic pop songs.  Because it sounds romantic and noble, its sells millions of records and books.  The problem is that following your heart usually means chasing after whatever feels right at the moment whether or not it actually is right.  It means throwing caution and conscience to the wind and pursuing your latest whims and desires regardless of what good logic and counsel are saying.  The Bible says, "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). 

    First, you need to understand that your heart follows your investment.  Whatever you pour your time, money, and energy into will draw your heart.  This was true before you were married.  You wrote letters, bought gifts, and spent time together as a couple, and your heart followed.  When you stopped investing as much in the relationship and started pouring yourself into other things, your heart followed you there.  If you are not in love with your spouse today, it may be because you stopped investing in your spouse yesterday. 

    Take the dare.  Invest in your spouse.  Even if you don't "feel like it".  Purpose to lead your heart and not foolishly follow your feelings.

    Fellow, Love Dare-ers.  We can stay the course.  Come throwup or croup.  Come what may...  We are 31 days into our dare.  Only nine days left.  But it doesn't stop there does it?