So now you know the truth.  You signed up for a class to work on your marriage but instead you found out the Love Dare is really about you (me).  It's really about changing us from the inside out.  Helping you (and me) become a more loving person.  And if we carry out each dare, our spouses will be affected and our marriages will begin to bloom!

I love my husband.  He and I are bound by so much more than romance alone.  What is hard for me?  Patience.  Holding my tongue.  Yeah, those are pretty hard.  Unfortunately, our words are a reflection of our hearts.  Mine's not reflecting so great.  Bleh.  I'm not giving up.  I'm going to persevere in demonstrating patience and removing negativity from my communication.  My marriage is worth the hard work. 

When you first fell in love, being thoughtful came quite naturally.  You spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like, wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spent together. 

Let's return to when we first fell in love.  Let's spend hours dreaming, wondering, and thinking of our spouses.  The dares help us to refocus our thoughts and to put those thoughts in action.  Let's have fun with them!

This week's assignment is days 6-10.

Day 10 may require a little extra thought and preparation.

Day 10 - Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.  Wash her car.  Clean the kitchen.  Buy his favorite dessert.  Fold the laundry.  Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage. 

I'd love to hear from you!  How was week one?  Your favorite dare?  Your least favorite dare?  Leave a comment or a link to your own blog post. 

Last night (Sunday, 2/20) was our first Love Dare small group meeting at church.  It was awesome.  I am so excited to see couples committed to fireproofing their marriages.  It's gonna be FUN!  For those joining us from home/online this week's assignment is to read Day 1 -5 and Appendix 4. 

We have a wonderful problem.  The Chief and I do not have a book.  We ordered a bunch but since we had extra couples join the small group, we gave our copy away.  The Chief is placing an order for more books and we'll catch up as soon as our book arrives. 

Some things to remember as we start the week,

1.  The Love Dare is not about trying to change your spouse to be the person you want them to be.

2.  Love is a decision, not a feeling.

3.  Lead your heart.  Emotions cannot be trusted.  They are often deceptive.

Read my previous week 1 blog post here. (I believe in this study.  This is my 3rd time participating!)

If you would like to share your thoughts or experiences about this week, feel free to comment or leave a link to your own blog post in the comments. 

Happy week 1!  May it be blessed!

Coming to our church next Sunday (Feb, 20 @ 6 pm) the Love Dare bible study!  Don't miss out on this opportunity to strengthen and fireproof your marriage. 

To kick off our study we watched the movie.  No matter how many times I watch, I cry.  There were so many movie details I had forgotten since I watched last.  Here are my favorite Fireproof scenes:

 And I just love the song "While I'm Waiting"

Want to join our study online?  Get a copy of the book The Love Dare and be ready to start Day 1 on Monday, February, 21. (If you are participating in the class at LHC, your book will be provided).  I'll post each Monday.  I hope you'll share with us in the comments or on your own blog (leaving a link to your post in the comments). 

...happened 15 years ago today.

Our Story

The Chief and I are hosting The Love Dare bible study at our church.  (It's not too late to sign up.)  Right now we have about ten couples joining us.  We kick off the study with the movie Fireproof this Sunday evening.  I think it would be soooo cool if others would like to join us in this 40 day journey online.  Some of you have already read the book and participated with me in 2008.  We are due for a refresher, don't you think?  What better gift to give ourselves and our families than the gift of a steadfast marriage?

Receive this as a warning.

This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly.

It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination.

It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life and your marriage.

Consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you.

Get a copy of the book and be ready to start Day 1 on Monday, February, 21. (If you are participating in the class at LHC, your book will be provided).  I'll post regularly.  Perhaps we can be determined and resolute together. 

I dare you to join me. 

When you are married to a pastor, people talk to you about their stuff. 

Especially marital stuff. 

We're always glad when people talk about their marital stuff cause divorce is out of control.  A lot of people are getting divorces and a lot of other people are thinking about it.  So yeah, it's really good to talk about the marital stuff.  Especially if it means preventing divorce.

Nearly always, we counsel marrieds or engageds.  So, If we could just back up a little there's something I'd like for all the single ladies to know.

Dear Single Ladies,

Keep in mind two things before you choose your husband to be. 

1.  Don't marry a loser. 

If your mom and dad doesn't like him, there's a good reason.  Your special guy needs to be a hard worker.  Husbands and fathers are required to do a lot of selfless things and working hard is the basis of it all.  Most of all, he needs to love Jesus.  I mean REALLY love Jesus.  Not saved = Not an option.  If he fails even one of these requirements - do not marry him even date him.

2.  Marriage is forever and ever. 

There'll be days that you don't feel "in love".  That's where the commitment comes in.  When you say your marriage vows you are committing to love him and honor him for always.  Even on the days that you aren't feeling it.  It's up to you to lead your heart.  Feeling are fickle.  They can't be trusted.  Our feelings are impacted by our monthly cycles, how well we've rested, stress of paying the bills, car troubles, the amount of laundry waiting for us, bad hair days...you see my point?  Our feelings are easily impacted by our circumstances.  Don't trust how you feel.  Lead your heart.  Tell it how to "feel".  Everyday choose to love your guy.  Choose to show him kindness. 

Sincerely,

Happily Married for 14 Years

P.S. Weddings are overrated!  Have a modest one and keep the money for the honeymoon! 

Be jealous!

(Abby, thanks for the video!)

Dear Chief,

I remember our first Christmas.  We wanted a real tree from a real tree farm.  We hiked up the side of the mountain looking for the best tree.  "That tree's too small.  That tree's too large.  This tree's juuuuu-st right."  The nice tree farmer sent it through the machine; tied it up all nice and skinny with twine.  Off we went to our really smallish apartment.  We drug that tree into the corner and cut the twine.  The tree literally filled the entire living room.  We laughed so hard, we cried.  We smooshed the tree until the branches stood straight up against the wall.  Your friend came to visit a few days later and was like, "Duuude!  Nice tree...where's your living room?"

Whatever happened to that really awesome boss you had back when our first baby was born?  I was in labor for half the week.  When we finally got to bring her home, we thought you would have to go back to work the next day.  Your boss volunteered to work for you.  You ended up being off work two weeks (with pay)!  We locked the door and hid from the world.  Our babymoon.      

There was the time we went to Grady's Restaurant.  We requested our table about 7:00 pm.  Do you remember they told us we'd have a 40 minute wait?  Well, we waited so long we each had a sleeping girl in our lap.  Even though they didn't give us a table until 9:00, we couldn't be mad because we had our first date in a long time.   

I'll never forget the day we went hiking at the Breaks.  The beautiful blue skies.  Four miles, four children, we heard the strangest noise - like rushing water!  I looked at you.  You looked at me.  You grabbed up the littles, I called to the bigs.  We took off running.  Too late!  We were soaked in the sudden down pour of rain!  All six of us laughing so hard under the tree.

Life's been good.  You make me happy.  Looking forward to the rest.

14.  He brings me Diet Dr. Pepper.

13.  He makes yummy smoothies and he's the king of strir fry!

12.  He doesn't freak out when I do.

11.  When he isn't buckling babies in car seats, he always opens my car door.

10.  He paints/builds/moves stuff at my beck and call.

9.  I still get lost in his hazel eyes.

8.  He likes to hold my hand when we're driving down the road.

7.  He works hard to provide for his family.

6.  He lives it at home first and preaches it at church second.

5.  Laughter, lots of laughter.

4.  When life is hard, he doesn't give up or run away.

3.  He has "mad" dad skills.

2. He is still the one I kiss good night. 

1. We beat the odds together.

After 14 years, I still feel like a newlywed.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird,

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,

we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

— Dr. Seuss