August 1, 2011

  • Lesson Learned (The Hard Way)

    The day I married the Chief my brother sang, "I'll go there with you".  Fifteen years later, I've gone "there" with the Chief.

    I learned a lesson some time ago that I'd like to pass on to you.

    Around the time I was expecting baby number three, the Chief was a bivocational pastor.  A young couple whose parents were a part of our congregation had a lovely wedding planned at our church with the Chief officiating. 

    Imagine my surprise when the Thursday before their wedding, I went for a baby checkup and was told to go home and get my suitcase.  I had developed preeclampsia.  My blood pressure wasn't doing good things and an induction was scheduled to begin that evening. 

    After a long night, I delivered our baby girl on Friday morning. 

    emrienewborn2

    The Chief was reluctant to leave me and wanted to call on another pastor to officiate the rehearsal and wedding.  I just hated that the Chief would miss this important event and I insisted he go.  Friday evening the rehearsal and Saturday afternoon the wedding.  I told my doctor he couldn't release me until my husband got back from the wedding.  My dear sleepless husband, ran back and forth from wedding, hospital, checking on the older children, and back to the hospital.  He was run ragged.  I was aching to see him and the older children.  Even still, I believed it was a worthy sacrifice. 

    Fast forward one year.  Tragically this couple filed for divorce.  Just one short year later.  Irreconcilable.  Really really sad.  Plain awful.

    Now, years later the couple and their family strive to forget a weekend that I will never forget.  They don't want to remember but I will always remember.  I will always know how many years ago.  I will always know how long it "would have been". 

    The lesson I learned?  I should have listened to my husband.  I shouldn't have insisted he do the wedding.  The cost to us was too great.  It was a special time that we will never have back and instead of enjoying it, we were running a marathon.  Here, there, and apart.  It was all for nothing.  There are plenty of preachers, but only one husband to me and only one father to my kids.  Lesson learned.  The hard way.

Comments (3)

  • I understand this post all too well. I have many times told my husband to "go ahead" that we would "be okay" without him. He's done a lot of ministry, but I've had to learn that it's okay that we need him, too.  It's okay to ask for him to be here for our family. Tough way to learn, but I understand. ***hugs***

  • As they say, "Hindsight is always 20/20." Eventually we have to come to the point of forgiving ourselves and moving on. And that is sometimes very hard to do. Thanks for sharing this experience.

  • @SealedbyGrace - Thanks for your kind words.  The "school of life" is teaching me lots.  ;)

    @song_of_praise - Hindsight is 20/20.  ;)   Let's hope I can remember my "lesson learned" to make the future more clear too.  :)

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